Update on : My inner « demons » and angels and the seemingly impossibility to get rid off it.

Update 2022/11/15, written on 2019/12/10-11

First, apologises to the persons and countries I incriminated in this report. It was not clear to me which intentions they, who contacted me, had, even if it was them I’d recognise or a fake image or a symbolic impersonation, when I mistaken one for another. I craved to get so much attention that I gave much attention to those visions, which my family told me to stop doing.

Some content were misunderstood by me when I had them in visions, there was a quiproquo due to the imprecision of my visions, several interlocutors, romantic interpretations from my side about one person with their intentions too when there was surely none. It looked like content to get discriminated by telling it.
Already by that time was it question of smoking being an irrational way of soothing oneself. He, or the image of Him, showed precisely that when I smoked to calm myself down, He’d mimic an irrational gesture to say it’s stupid and ineffective. I thought “he” might be several persons. Later on, other visions with other people came to say about the same thing, in other words, with other ways. I can’t so far stop and I tried. I can’t say I won’t quit one day, but not where I am at the moment where it’s always smoky.

Curiously I thought it looked precisely like a situation we’ve been distracted with in the fantasy of George Orwell, how accurate was his intuition I don’t know.

Later I thought of Isaac Asimov and the Second Foundation with Gaia story about the Mutant. But all those are supposed to be fictions right ???

Perceptions have a fil rouge now différent than before, it’s usually somebody on a bed, in a hospital room I guess, no harm seems to be done to him/her. And there are illusions of a family visiting sometimes.

I searched a little and heard of Masers, sort of microwave lasers, can be use in tandem to set a tick and a vocal signal that is understood by the body of the target, there seem there were « official » cases with Americans diplomates in Cuba, the Havana cases. It could be explanation for a few things but not the complete set of phenomenons. I still don’t have my unified explanation for all this.

My inner « demons » and angels and the seemingly impossibility to get rid off it.

My psychiatrist told me I’m not psychotic but rather that I’m having exacerbated perceptions.

It appears to me that those are the target or tiers emitters, of which I don’t know the nature or technical specifications, I haven’t been able to imagine the cost of such technique or who could afford it.

I can only judge from what I felt, perceived, what came to my mind. Here is the evolution of my extra-sensorial perceptions till 11 December 2019 :

Phase 1 : basics extra-sensorial stimuli (touch, Reiki-like energetic movements)

  • Duration : many years
  • Start : About 2014
  • Moments : limited to sensations of energy flow scanning the body down from head to toe during my mindfulness méditation
  • Subject I thought was studied : none at first, then it became strange why I was feeling that and being able to control it. Also sensations of cold and warm.
  • Particularities : emotionally neutral for me, not disturbing.
  • Notes : I lately thought of many, for the most impossibles, explanations, from spirituals to esoteric ones, even aliens, but the truth was that I couldn’t reasonably explain that with my limited knowledge.

Phase 2 : basic scenario, with a duality, 2 opposite « attitudes », one rather friendly the other not at all. (Duality like the Cold War, I think they pretended to be or let understand by behaviour that they were USA and Russia)

  • Durée : a few months
  • Start : About April 2019
  • Periods : anytime of the day, at a certain point we setup an agenda to work with each group, one day each.
  • Subjects I thought were studied : sensations recorded by the brain during an chirurgical operation, or what could be a reconstitution with FX, and for the other group torture seance, both physical and psychological
  • Particularities : one chatty friendly group, the other silent, not pleasant to work with to say the least.
  • Notes : attempt to concile the 2 groups and idea of the 1 on 2 day schedule, because before that it was all messed up.

Phase 3 : scenarii and many many test checks, to elaborate a more stable remote communication + psychanalyse (many personal questions, difficult to stop responding)

  • Duration : a few months
  • Start : About September 2019
  • Moments : anytime, randomly and depending from the current scenario
  • Subject I thought were studied : ??? Seemed the purpose was rather the communication stability and setup of a deal, not especially to my advantage, but I was only but a subject, don’t know if there were others before but I guess there will be many more after.
  • Particularities : Emotionally more difficult, many more ups and downs, there are too many variations about originating country (Starting with the big ones with Intelligence Agency well-known, Russia, USA, France, Belgium, Algeria, or UAE … or pretending to be originating from organisations like the freemasons, mafia milieu, I rather thought united psychopaths billionaires, right wingers united homophobes, many different mini-scenario, that lasted the time I was believing in it, and then they’ll eventually change to a new one or come back to a previous for fun and see how much time I doubt again. What seem then obvious is that they’re hiding and not revealing any information about them. And that physical attack is of little risk. They rather leave not a single trace for a clean untraceable murder.
  • Notes : to destabilise ? To discredit ? Telling those stories to your family can make them look at you like you’re actually mad, and that’s precisely the goal of playing with you like a fool.

Phase 4 : It looks more than visions, more messy in my head, emotional and symbolic and with coincidences in the real world (the moment it leaves the head to become real) than the previous ones, based on very small facts not related, but that sum up to make a big pile of arrows that show the same direction. + always some cruel sentences to put the doubt a bit higher

  • Duration : A few weeks
  • Start : About octobre 2019
  • Periods : all the time, mostly during my insomnia and alone awake.
  • Subject that I thought was studied : level a gullibility reachable ?
  • Particularities : For what concerns the main character, a foreign dignitary, of whom I understood the person introduced himself as a important person, but I have for only evidences the strange matching between what I have seen on his Instagram profile, images in his story that resonated regularly with sentences I had heard the day before, in the film or conversation, or things I had seen on the street.
    • « Lightning strikes the tree but the rain of the storm watered the cherry tree » (in French « l’éclair frappe l’arbre mais la pluie de l’orage abreuve le cerisier ») and it appears on Instagram that he posted a tree half on the ground, the other half standing up.
    • I was eating a dish on which I put maybe a bit too much salt usually, and he posted a bowl filled with rocky salt and a wooden spoon of a reasonable size.
    • I see a prey bird on my way home from my therapist, and he has many pictures with them.

He did not directly present himself like somebody important, but all the money for the study and technical development must come from somewhere, certainly for one technology that not yet supposed to exist, or even told impossible to make. What was impossible in the XVII century that is not only possible today but totally common ? So many things.

  • Notes : The difficulty to escape from the scenario was mainly due to the consistent dropping of coincidence, that make think of something associated with that, and that goes all in one direction. I have been fooled, I think, by all the positive sensory content when it was present, it really was immersif, I broke up with my partner to nobody else because there was a impression of interest in my head and feelings I missed to live for real. The grass seemed greener in the other valley. But perhaps it was more like a scam. It was all too beautiful, too perfect at first, and it should have been a warning signal. I discovered feelings I didn’t know, some bad some wonderful, some that makes you worry about your family because you think what you feel is what they are currently feeling. It might well be simulated, as long as you believe it, it’s a daydream nightmare. Some people experience this for real all the time, I’m lucky my family is well and despite all those bad visions, they are still healthy.

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